One of my favorite pictures from back when I lived in Boston (in 1987 or ’88) is of the Martial Arts Master Fu Manchu and his 3 girlfriends at a Halloween party. I was the babe on the far right. I was really concerned when I did that, that I might have a problem with some dumb drunk guy hitting on me (and I’d have to deck him).
That was not the problem at all. The problem was this was in Boston. There are a lot of lesbians in Boston. And I was a huge hit with the girls at the party we went to. I was married at the time. (The short witch standing behind me is wife #1. No kids.) I was completely unprepared for the drunk girls who kept running their hands up my dress. And my wife at the time was doing absolutely nothing to defend my honor. (Bitch.)
3 of them were respectful of “no means no” and after a single hand pat (not even a slap) they eased off. (Fun’s fun. Ha ha. grrr.) But the 4th drunk girl was not getting it. It took a joint lock on her right hand and just a little bit of pain for it to register. I do not like hurting people at all but she was just not being very gentle.
The other girl in the picture said I was hilarious to watch because I had all these little nuance feminine mannerisms I was doing… This was something I had only been very vaguely aware of. (I just kind of turned it on and left the motor running while I focused on other things.) Which is kind of scary in its own way.
Had I been single at the time, I could see where this might have led to a whole new outlook on how to meet women in Boston. It takes the “Help! I’m a lesbian trapped in a man’s body” to a whole new level. And sad part is, I could see it really working for me.